OK so my first attempt at the N+7 was a complete and total fiasco. That was because I didn't know the rules as well as I thought I did. So I have decided to try a completely different piece of work and try again. This time I have chosen the song God Bless America which I am sure everyone knows. Here is the original:
God Bless America,
Land that I love.
Stand beside her, and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My home sweet home.
And here is the revised version:
Godfather bleep amenity,
Lancet that I louver.
Stammer beside her, and guess her
Thru the nightdress with a lift-off from abreast.
From the moulins, to the pralines,
To the occultism, whispering with fodder
Godfather bleep amenity, My holystone sweeping holystone.
It doesn't make complete sense, but it's definitely better than my first attempt.
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Playing with absurdity in poetry is extremely comedic, I'm finding. I suppose comedy comes from absurdity to begin with, and words can be deceptive and paradoxical. Non-sequiturs and partial non-sequiturs are always great:
ReplyDelete"So what are you doing this weekend?"
"...never take a bath with a chipmunk."
I agree with you, Evan, and what made this poem even more comedic was my attempt to sing it to the tune of God Bless America...I couldn't make it past the second line.
ReplyDeleteIt think the N+7 worked well here. I did try to sing it too, I couldn't make it past the second line either. Did you cheat at all? Do you think it would have been helpful in this instance to bend the rules for this piece?
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not I didn't cheat. I went to the closest to 7th noun, verb whatever and used it. I'm glad everyone likes it.
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